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Musings and such
As much as some use painting as an outlet, I write.
You can call this shovelware. But you might be interested.

Musings about my life
I'm writing more and more journals on a regular basis, and not all of them fit in the category of Chafing and Irritation. Until I come up with the right category for these (niches, it's all about labels) I'm listing them here.


Musings about Art

  • Virtual Reality, Decadence, and the Will to God: A Rebours and Mondo 2000.
    • J.K. Huysmans wrote two of the more powerful novels I've read in quite some time. They have a certain notion of art, the senses and human experience that echoes concerns I have read about and thought about a lot regarding this whole thing some call the Digital Society. The fact that Huysmans lived in the 19th century makes all this more and more uncanny.
  • Cooperative Art on the Internet
    • One of the things this realm of communications has let us do is share artistic experience. Check out this discussion of different things being done around the country regarding art and interactivity.
Musings about faggotry
I must admit I have a love-hate relationship with the Gay Mainstream. There's a definite something about being a queer man in today's world that is both exhilarating and obnoxious. For those who have visited before, this will be no news, but I have a profound dislike for the Scene. Some have tried to call it internalized homophobia or self-hatred--I tend to think of it more as general iconoclasticism. I have no time for the latest trends or fads or disco music hits. I couldn't care less about the release of Triangle Beer. I am bored to no end by being expected to worship Judy or care about Cher or give a rat's ass about what the Backstreet boys are up to nowadays.

I came out because I feel atracted to men. I didn't come out because I wanted to be a part of a market niche or because I needed to release my inner Diva. I didn't come out to fit into a carefully-crafted stereotype. So I balk when someone expects me to relish the notion of fitting into a precreated persona.

I need political activism. I need a constant questioning of the status quo. I am bored by those who just say "take a pill and chill and celebrate gay positive everything."

So, aside from my periodic chafes, I've written some more things.


  • I really had a few icky moments in San Francisco in 1996, and I wrote much about how i reacted to it. I read it now and just sense anger and frustration. I probably wouldn't write this now, but the emotions were real. Someday I'll write the fourth and fifth sections...
  • Looking for Langston and the lonely gay man
    After watching Looking for Langston I wrote a paper on it, commenting also on a horrible article I read in New York magazine. I don't know what I think of it now, but here it is..